Back to school season can cause anxiety in kids for many reasons: New teachers, friends and a change in routine can all be stressful. Add moving to a new school—due to a grade change or new neighborhood—and the transition becomes especially tough. While you can’t eliminate your child’s back to school fears, managing your own emotions about them and lending a sympathetic ear can go a long way towards making the change feel easier. If your little one seems especially nervous this year, follow these four tips.
1. Listen to Their Worries
Whether they tell you they’re nervous about making new friends, saying goodbye to you at drop-off or adjusting to a new life chapter, don’t brush your child’s concerns aside, no matter how small. Validate how they feel and show that you are their ally throughout the process.
For example, if your child is worried about losing touch with old friends as they expand their circle, reassure them that you’ll arrange play dates to keep in touch. If it’s a fear of the unknown, simple actions like driving by the school, or meeting your child’s new teacher or classmates before the year starts, can prime them for the routine change when it arrives. Doing something new together while it’s still summer—like tackling a creative project or testing out the new route to school—can make change seem less intimidating.
If you are moving to a new town, expect a longer adjustment time. Children need at least a month to mentally prepare and ask questions about their new school and living environment. Younger kids might not be able to articulate their fears, so asking guided questions, like “I wonder if you’re excited to make new friends, but scared to leave your old ones,” can help get to the root of their worries.
2. Be Enthusiastic
Once school starts, your children probably won’t warm up to their new routine immediately—which is why a positive, encouraging attitude as parents is everything. In the first week of school, amp up the excitement and support by leaving a note in their lunch box, letting them pick out their outfits, or taking a first day of school picture. Enjoying their favorite dinner as a family can also create a supportive environment to come home to.
Above all, praise your kids for being brave enough to vocalize and face their fears, and model healthy coping strategies such as reading, playing music and staying active to relieve stress. If they come home from school looking glum, drawing or writing out unknowns together can help you focus on what you can control.
3. Work With Your Child’s Teacher
You don’t need to wait for parent-teacher conferences to connect with your child’s teacher about their well-being. Sharing your kid’s interests and fears—and being open about any changes to your home life or the circumstances of your move—will help teachers provide the support needed for them to thrive. Collaborating on ways to comfort your child during times of stress can help you spot troubling patterns in their behavior, such as acting out, and can lead to improved communication with your child.
4. Enlist Help
Sometimes, a positive attitude and a world of support isn’t enough to cure your child’s anxiety. If this is the case with yours, finding a mental health professional that your child trusts can be the answer to ensuring a smooth transition to a new learning environment. In addition, finding a third party that your child can relate to—whether it’s a neighbor or older sibling—can make them feel less alone as they navigate their fears.
