Whether it’s a scheduled semester check-in or a meeting requested by your child’s teacher, attending a parent-teacher conference may cause some anxiety. You hope your child is meeting academic expectations, behaving well and making friends, but teachers are in the classroom with your child every day, and they have insights into things you can’t see.
When you are approaching a parent teacher-conference, your mind might jump to the worst case scenarios—could there be a problem with your child?
There is no need to stress. Like you, teachers want to see your child succeed. Parent-teacher conferences are a great way to collaborate with your teacher and find ways to work through any issues or behaviors that may be holding your child back.
If you have a parent-teacher conference on your calendar, here are five tips to help you get the most out of the meeting.
Gather Your Child’s Records—and Review Your School’s Handbook
Even if your kids already have a file at school with their test scores, health records and report cards, it’s helpful to review recent and past documents to be prepared to discuss trends or concerns. Looking at the school’s handbook to remind yourself of the attendance policy, behavior expectations and other rules will help you anticipate questions from your child’s teacher about any recent issues. Similarly, reviewing report cards and test scores will ensure you’re in alignment about their academic strengths and areas of improvement.
Talk to Your Child Before (and After) the Conference
The goal of a parent-teacher conference isn’t to talk about your kids behind their back with their teacher. You want to reassure them that you’re gathering information about concerns or issues they might face on a daily basis, such as schoolwork hurdles, bullying or relationships with classmates. According to the Child Mind Institute, schoolyard friendships boost self esteem, and can be just as important to your child as getting an A.
Making sure your kids see the meeting as an opportunity for you to work with their teacher to make their life easier—and not form an alliance against them—will go a long way in your journey to fix any issue that may arise.
Prepare Questions for Your Child’s Teacher
Even if the conversation flows organically and is without surprises, you’ll want to ask a few questions to ease your mind about your child’s growth and experience at school. Here are some examples that apply to all parents:
- Is my child meeting expectations for learning and behavior?
- How do they compare to others in basic skills?
- Have you noticed any behavior problems or health concerns?
- How does my child get along with other students?
Take notes so you can work with your teacher on solutions and talk to your kids about any issues that you learn.
Plan to Collaborate (and Communicate) About a Follow-Up Plan
In some cases—such as elementary school meetings—semester parent-teacher discussions may last only five or 10 minutes. Annual conferences are usually 30 minutes.
Regardless of how much sit-down time you have, honest communication with your child’s teacher—and staying aware of school events and homework assignments throughout the year—is essential to your child’s success. To streamline sharing information with your teacher, suggest using an app designed for parent/teacher communication, such as Bloomz or Klassly, or ask if your school has one they currently use. If that’s not the easiest solution, ask how you can stay in touch throughout the year for less formal check-ins.
Brace for Bad News—and Try Not to Get Angry
Even if your kids assure you their school life is fine, teachers may deliver a different story. While your first instinct may be to not believe what the teacher is telling you, remember that teachers have your child’s best interests at heart. Instead of feeling like they are blaming your parenting skills or your child for bad behavior, ask questions about what you can do to help them improve. Then, schedule a follow-up meeting where you can review action items so your child continues to thrive.
