Growing up, I was what we used to call a “latchkey kid.” Raised by a single mom, my big sister and I got ourselves home from school while my mom was at work. Our routine was to call our mom, talk about our day and tell her what we’d be up to that afternoon. My Mom wanted to make sure we didn’t watch too much TV and that we got our homework done.
Today, as the mom of three teenagers, I have the same concerns—and, like my mom, I stay close to how my kids engage with their (seemingly endless) supply of entertainment platforms. Like my mom’s requirement that we call right when we got home, I work to ensure that check ins with my kids include a discussion of what they are seeing and doing online. I hear a lot about how much they’re learning and discovering, while also ensuring that we have a regular forum to discuss and address concerns any of us have about what they are seeing. Like many parents, their dad and I are doing our best to keep up with our teens’ digital lives.
I come at this from a unique perspective. I spent over 15 years working in public safety as a prosecutor, police commissioner and Special Assistant Attorney General for the State of California. I now apply that experience to keeping TikTok safe and enjoyable. I joined TikTok because I couldn’t imagine a more important way to contribute everything I know about creating safe spaces into an app that touches over a billion people around the globe.
The good news is that there are concrete steps we can take to make the digital world feel less overwhelming.
First, it’s critical to talk to your teens about what they’re doing online.
Approach the discussion from a place of curiosity, empathy, partnership and respect.If you don’t know where to start, ask them: “what made you laugh today?” or “who do you like to follow?” You can even give them a chance to be the teacher. Ask them how to set up your own account. You may have to endure the “Don’t be cringe” comments, but they’ll appreciate it.
Next, lay down some ground rules.
To help families develop a safe online experience tailored to their needs, TikTok recently launched the Digital Safety Partnership For Families together with the Family Online Safety Institute. Use this guide to set boundaries that make sense for your family, including when and where your teens can use their devices, a commitment to stop and think before posting something in the heat of the moment and expectations about privacy. Everyone in the family can sign the agreement and check in regularly to see if it’s working for them.
Take advantage of safety tools and features.
TikTok empowers parents to supervise their teens on our app with Family Pairing, which includes setting screen time limits and filtering out content from their teen’s feed by prohibiting specific keywords and hashtags of their choosing. We even partnered with parent creators to create TikTok videos about our safety features to make them even easier to use!
Educate yourself on your kids’ experience on their favorite apps.
For example, teens must be at least 13 years old to use the main TikTok app (we have a separate experience for children under 13), and account holders under 16 can’t send or receive direct messages. Teen account holders under 18 automatically start out as private and can’t host a livestream.
While getting your own account is one of the best ways to understand a platform, we know that a lot of parents want to learn more without having an account. Most platforms have resources online that will walk you through their features, and TikTok is proud to work with National PTA to host in-person events for parents and teens to learn and share together.
We all have our own parenting style and comfort level when it comes to digital platforms. That’s why it’s so important that parents take an active role in helping our teens navigate the online world. In the same way that we show our children how to safely cross the street, choose healthy food, and care for our communities, we can approach the online world with practical guidance, patience, and love.
Editor’s Note: National PTA believes in a positive, proactive, and practical approach—especially when it comes to navigating the complexities of digital life. And if a parent or caregiver chooses to allow their teen to be on a platform like TikTok, then it’s crucial for the family to understand how the platform works, especially the privacy and safety settings.
TikTok became a Supporting Sponsor of PTA Connected in 2019 which is National PTA’s initiative around digital safety and wellbeing, access and equity, cybersecurity, and citizenship. Together, TikTok and National PTA launched the Create with Kindness program, which is aimed at empowering high school PTSAs to host open and interactive discussions with teens on their online experiences and to equip families with practical information and resources. The program has been updated for the 2024-2025 school year, along with a revamped TikTok Guide for Parents (coming soon to the PTA website).
National PTA does not endorse any commercial entity, product, or service. No endorsement of TikTok is implied.
